MTV and Zickes

I have a lot of catching up to do. In the near future I will post about the Ultimate European Road Trip, Oktoberfest, European TV, and how much I love Asians. I’ve been living in Vienna for a month and a half now and it has changed me. It has changed me in some serious regard, for instance, I now like sparkling water. That whole increased cultural acceptance/ feeling part of a global community nonsense has happened too, but that was to be expected. I definitely did not expect to start liking MTV or sparkling water.

My roommate has a TV. I have never had my own TV, so having one in my dorm is a change. Well, my roommate moved in with her boyfriend, so I have a double to myself (super sweet deal). For background noise, I turn on the TV. Most of the channels play American shows: House, The Nanny, and all those crappy 5-8 o’clock sitcoms. These shows are on only in German. Not only are they in German, but the voiceovers they pick do not match the actors whatsoever. There are two channels in English. One of them is international CNN. I cannot begin to describe to you how atrocious international CNN is. They really dig at the bottom of the barrel for news stories. Plus, all of the commercials are about investing in Poland, Nigeria, or some technology company. The quality of news is so poor that I opt to watch MTV. Before coming to Austria I had never watched MTV in earnest. I am now being exposed to classic American shows like “Cribs”, “Viva La Bam”, “Next”, and “Rock of Love.” The narrator speaks in German, but the reality shows are all subtitled in German. I feel like I am learning about American culture whilst learning the German language. Yet, I don’t think I will be able to use most of the choice phrases uttered by Brett Michaels or his stripper groupies. Once while watching “Rock of Love” with my now-absent roommate, she asked me if normal women had boobs like that in the US. She then called the contestants “Zickes”, which translates directly into “silly cows.” I am glad that Europeans realize that reality show contestants are not necessarily representative of the US population.

Another big change for me: I can drink outside. Austria has no public consumption laws. You can drink on the subway, in parks, on the way to class, in the mall, anywhere. There are no liquor stores, so you can buy alcohol at the grocery store, convenience store, from the kebab stands, it’s ubiquitous. You have to be 16 to buy beer and wine, and 18 for hard alcohol. I thought they didn’t care about carding until I went to Zielpunkt yesterday.

Zielpunkt is a relatively inexpensive grocery store where you can buy turkey livers, one euro bottles of sparkling wine, or whatever your grocery needs happen to be. Yesterday I went out for some basics: cheese, bread, pasta sauce, wine and vodka. Something happened to me that shocked me to my core: I got carded. I got carded in Europe! She didn’t card me for the wine, but she held she held back the liter of vodka and said something to me in rapid German, which to me sounded like, “Thanks for shopping at Zielpunkt. I see you have made an excellent selection in this Novgorod Vodka.” I replied with “Ich spreche etwas Deutsch.” (I speak some German). She was not impressed. She tapped the bottle and whistled out more German commands. I got the picture. I gave her my student ID and paid for my groceries. I stumbled over to the grocery packing area and reflected upon my life. When was the last time I had gotten carded? Did she really think I was 17? It boggles the mind.